


Polluted Thoughts

by Neko_ryn



Category: K-pop, Pentagon (Korea Band), Triple H (Korea Band)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, F/M, M/M, Multi, Murder, OT3, Polyamory, Smoking, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-03-30 00:48:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13939014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neko_ryn/pseuds/Neko_ryn
Summary: "Have you ever crossed a street, a car visible at the end of it, and felt like stopping? The car is still far away, you have enough time to get to the other side, but it just feels like it'll be easier to stop walking, to let the car come."Hwitaek opened his eyes, next to him Hyojong whispered just loud enough for him to hear, he was probably talking with Hyuna, both of them probably thought he was asleep. He didn't bother to let them know it wasn't like that."No, never." Hyuna whispered back, she sounded thrilled. The thin sheets were the only thing separating him from ther nakes bodies; they had just finished having sex."That's what I felt when you and Hwitaek found me, that's the reason I stopped walking right when I saw you coming." Hyojong said, calmly, his arm briefly brushing against Hwitaek's."Why do you want to die?" Hyuna asked, the bed sinking under her as she incorporated."Well... Why do you want to live?"There was no answer, and Hwitaek closed his eyes once again.





	1. The little hours

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, I'm Riza and this time I'm bringing you this short series. I really wanted to try something a little bit different to my usual writing style and I really love Triple H so this came to be, hope you enjoy it, and please read the warnings!

The punch landed directly on his nose and it sent him stumbling back until he fell flat on the floor. Red, warm liquid flowed and dripped all over his skin and clothes, he didn't even get the chance to wipe it off before a kick went directly to his stomach, knocking the air out of him. He fell to his side, contorting in pain but unable to make sense of it, he felt dizzy. There was another blow, and then another one and he had to spit out the blood accumulating in his mouth, the metallic taste giving him a grasp of reality. A hand grabbed his hair, pulling him up; he whimpered slightly, but followed the movement nonetheless.

"You're really lucky the boss still likes you, Lee Hwitaek, or you'd be dead by now." The tall, bulky man holding his hair spat the words out and then pushed him away, letting him fall down on the floor once again. "Don't ever return, if we see you once again you're not getting out alive."

The rage behind the words let Hwitaek know they were sincere, meaningful, yet he could only laugh in his pain as the men walked away. It was a manic laugh, making him feel like his chest would burst at any given moment, although in the end it didn't. He incorporated slowly, his ribcage hurt inside his chest and he could feel his heart pumping directly in his ears; he was still feeling quite dizzy.

"I guess I'm on my own again." He said to himself, finally standing up and shaking off the dust from his clothes. "Maybe I should change things up a little." Despite what had just happened, a smile overtook Hwitaek's lips easily.

He was an optimistic, self-confident and intelligent man, a lot of people fell for his charms and he had a way with words that made it easy for others to give him the attention he wanted. Yet he was also a liar, stuck up and egoistic, he was willing to do anything to get what he wanted and had no sense of loyalty.

He would usually make his way to the top of any organization or gang that would be willing to take him and take whatever he wanted from them until he was eventually thrown away. But so far no one had seriously attempted to kill him, and it boasted his ego to know that, it made him feel indestructible.

Hwitaek was getting tired however, it was a process that required too much time and rather than a parasite he'd much rather like to try and be the boss. He wanted people that would follow him, that would owe him their life, that would depend on him. Just the thought made him giddy with excitement, but he knew it wouldn't be as easy as snapping his fingers; first, he needed a way to move around.

He bought a cheap shirt and went into a public restroom to get himself cleaned; there was so much blood after the fight. The wounds were there but he didn't mind, he knew his plan would work nonetheless. Hwitaek made his way into the red-light district, where every society outcast spent their nights. It was filled with bars, clubs, brothels and casinos. The air was mostly made of cigarette smoke and you could occasionally perceive the gross yet enticing use of a drug. The street was crowded with beer cans and glass bottles lying next to their passed-out owners who had probably been stripped of anything valuable already.

Two prostitutes made their way to him but he shook them off; he liked them as little as he liked everyone else. If there was one thing he was consistent in it was his life philosophy: everyone in the world was capable of evil, and until they could prove him they were no harm for him, he would treat them all like how he deserved to be treated, like trash.

The hot ambiance of a club down the street received him with open doors. The voices of the clients mixed in with the loud electronic music; the dance floor was packed with people barely unable to move and the place reeked of alcohol, cigarettes and sweat. Hwitaek liked these sorts of places for all the secrets they covered: the couples (or sometimes more than two) sharing intimacy, the illegal deals between dealers and their consumers, and the meetings among gangs trying to settle their games. Everything felt familiar to him.

Two girls sharing drinks at the bar became his target when he spotted a bundle of keys next to their drinks; that was his one way ticket to a new beginning. He approached them, already putting on a flirtatious smile and walking clumsily, pretending the alcohol was running deep in his system.

"Hello, ladies." He said, dragging out the words and passing his arms around their shoulders. "What are you doing tonight? Wanna have some fun?"

"God dammit, fuck off!" The girl under his left arm pushed him away and he used that opportunity to lean on the counter and grab the keys stealthily, putting them in his pocket. He didn't even have to walk away pretending to be drunk, since they're attention was already on something else.

And just like that Hwitaek got the ticket he wanted. It was time to begin again.

* * *

Dim lights and low music were usually her companions at work; the lights were bright only when there was a client, and that was unfortunately the case right now. In front of her sat a tall man, his hair was black and well taken care of, his features felt foreigner but she paid no mind to that.

Hyuna grabbed the shaving cream and started to evenly apply it on his chin, she then grabbed the razor; the feeling of  a warm hand creeping up on the back of her leg made her move away, dropping everything on the floor. The man stood up and approached her slowly, much like a hunter and its prey.

She had had many clients trying to flirt with her, but no one had ever touched her, and she hadn't liked it even a little. Hyuna quickly picked up the razor from the floor, pointing it at him without a good idea of what she was doing; she felt scared and her mind was racing, yelling at her to run.

The man didn't let her think and just pushed her against the wall next to the mirror, grabbing the hand that held the razor and holding it tightly away from him. He was much taller and muscular than Hyuna, and he continued to press his body against hers, his lips delicately caressing her cheeks, the corner of her lips, her neck.

"Come on, you'll enjoy it, just leave yourself to me." The man whispered in his ear and adrenaline shot through her veins.

Powered by pure fear, she pushed him away in one last attempt to escape the situation; the man tripped, hitting his head with the corner of her work table, and suddenly everything became red. Red, red, so much red. Darker than the color of her hair and covering the floor tiles with tortuous speed. The man stopped moving.

The razor's impact with the floor sounded louder than it should, her heart was pumping so hard on her chest to the point it hurt. She called the man, touched him, shook him around, but there was no response; there was no breathing or pulse. She had killed a man.

Hyuna tried to clean the blood desperately, only managing to spread it even more, staining herself with it along the process. She tried to get rid of the body, but it was too heavy and stress made it impossible for her body to function properly.

The situation was wrong, she hadn't meant to kill him, as much as the man deserved it, but she didn't want to be a murderer. She looked around trying to decide what to do now, no one had seen her, and while she was covered in blood she could still take a shower and get rid of her clothes. Hyuna grabbed the hose they used for washing clients' hair and sprayed water all over the floor and the body, throwing it to the floor like that and running away before anyone could find her.

She was terrified but there was something freeing in her actions; deep down it was like breaking down the chains that had kept her tied to her life, which she honestly hated. She hated going to the barber shop and work there nearly every day, she hated most of the men she had encountered, she felt trapped there and now she was free, running away to a place those she had left behind hopefully couldn't find her. Where the old her couldn't find her.

The alleyway ended and bright headlights welcomed her into the broad streets. She stood there, confused, breathless from running, lost. The driver's window went down and the head of a male popped out, he had bruises on his face and looked curious about Hyuna standing there, unmoving. They both stared at each other in silence.

"Can I come with you?" Hyuna asked after a moment, not knowing what pushed her to say those words.

The response came in the form of the car doors unlocking. She walked towards the copilot's door and opened it; once she was in the man started driving once again, in silence. He gave her one look and then handed her a handkerchief.

"Hwitaek." The man said, it was short, but that was all she needed to know.

"Hyuna." She replied back, grabbing the handkerchief and frantically wiping the blood away.

* * *

"I'm going to kill myself." He said out loud to the man sitting behind him on the bed, in the process of getting dressed. He couldn't see it but knew because of the way the bed moved.

"Is that so? Well, good luck with that." The man replied, finally standing up to leave after having put on his shoes. "Just don't get me involved, I don't want people to know. I'm also going to take my money with me since you're not going to need it anymore."

"Jerk." Hyojong replied, but the only answer was the door of his apartment being closed.

He stayed like that a while more, returning to his smoke and enjoying it as much as possible, as it was probably going to be his last one. He had been considering suicide a long time ago, but had tried nothing thinking maybe there was something else to life he had missed. However, the words spoken by the only person who acknowledged his existence -even if it was only to have sex- clearly told him there was nothing waiting for him. He had hit rock bottom a long time ago. There was no one in his life to change his mind, and jobless and without studies as he was, he was just wasting space.

As the cigarette wore out, Hyojong stood up and got dressed with comfortable clothes. He closed the curtains to the only window in the room and went to the bathroom, opened every faucet and let the bathtub fill up. It took a while but once it was finally full he closed the faucets and just let himself fall down; some of the water flooded out of the bathtub but most stayed in. He stared at the ceiling, his eyes open inside of the water, and just waited for it to wash everything away, including his life.

That never came to be as he got himself out of the bathtub, dripping wet and coughing his lungs out. It had felt too slow and painful and he didn't want that, he didn't want to feel everything so consciously. Hyojong stayed in the floor for what felt like hours but was probably only a few minutes, and then decided to give it another try.

The phone's cable around his throat, asphyxiating himself with a plastic bag. Everything was too painful, too slow, and it wasn't working. He wanted something that wasn't under his control, something he couldn't stop, something that would destroy him completely making it impossible to put him back together.  By the time he finished trying he was already dry, so he grabbed his pack of cigarettes, his lighter, and went out to the streets.

He walked aimlessly for a while, smoking one cigarette after another until the little box was almost empty, just like the streets. He was about to cross a particular street when he saw a car coming, the thought didn't even get to form in his head when he stopped in front of it, the blow throwing him a few meters away. Pain flared up through his body and he was almost certain he must have broken something, although he could still move well enough.

The door of a car closed up with force and a few seconds later someone was grabbing him from the collar of his shirt and delivered hit after hit on his already tattered body. In his dazed state he could barely make up the faces of two people, a man and a woman, both way too attractive for it to be a coincidence that they were together. The woman tried to stop the other man from hitting him, but instead she was pushed away.

"Stop it! You're going to kill him." The woman yelled, and the hitting stopped.

Hyojong then burst out into a laughing fit, his body shaking uncontrollably as he stood up and clumsily ran around.

"Honey..." He said once he had gained his breath back. "That's exactly what I want!" And then he started laughing again, too crazed to pay attention at the other two looking at each other.

A few minutes later they were all siting inside the car, heading to nowhere.

"Who are you?" The man that had just given him the beating of his life asked.

"Hyojong." He replied, and if they told him their names then he didn't hear them. He had already passed out on the backseat.


	2. Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter of this short Triple H project, I hope you enjoy it!

The gas station received them shortly before daybreak. It was completely empty, and probably the only other person there was the clerk of the small convenience store right behind the gas pumps. Hwitaek parked the car next to a pump and got off; he sent the other two to pay for the gas and then loaded the car himself.

 

When he finished, he walked towards the trunk; wondering what he had taken from the girls, he opened it and stared at the contents with a critical eye. Hyuna and Hyojong joined him shortly after, and when he looked at them he knew they were thinking the same. By chance they had become filthy rich, as the trunk of the car was full of dozens of cash rolls, all packed messily inside a suitcase.

 

They ran back to the inside of the car and drove away immediately, filled up with bubbling excitement; whatever had brought them to this, they didn't care, they were going to have the best time of their lives.

 

Hwitaek took them to a hotel first, they needed a place to stay and hide the money as well. He paid for two weeks in advance and then helped the other two move into the room. They were laughing, ecstatic of their new found fortune and complicity.

 

"Why do you have so much money on you?" Hyuna asked, admiring the wads of cash closely.

 

"It's not mine, I stole this car." Hwitaek said, shaking his head, they were in huge trouble; it seemed too good to be true.

 

"Fuck." Hyojong exhaled, and they all laughed again. "Since we've condemned ourselves, what do you say about leaving this life like fucking royalty?" He grabbed a bundle and shook it in front of the others eyes.

 

"I'm in." Hyuna said immediately, grabbing the bundle from Hyojong's hands and walking up to Hwitaek, grabbing his arm. "What do you say, boss?" She offered the bundle to him, smiling; probably the brightest smile on her face since they had met a few hours ago.

 

"Boss?" Hwitaek asked, the word sparking something inside him, the same thing that had made him steal the car in the first place.

 

"Well, you stole the car and picked us up didn't you?" She pressed closer to him, insistent; Hyojong looked impatient as well, he wanted the fun to get started already.

 

"Do you want to get some new clothes first, Hyuna?" Hwitaek said finally, giving up to his deepest desires and to the two other people standing in front of him.

 

Hyuna let out an excited squeal and hugged Hwitaek before doing the same with Hyojong, who looked like he was having just as much fun. They knew nothing about each other except their names, but there was no need, no urges. Things would work out anyway.

* * *

They spend the whole day out, buying some new and stylish clothes, eating like they hadn't in months, and when sun was nowhere in the visible sky again they went back to the streets, to the underworld they all knew so well.

 

They hit the clubs, going from one to another in a dazed state that covered them like a cloud made up of alcohol and cigarette smoke. It was a good thing they hadn't brought the car because driving was not an option. Not when even Hwitaek was long gone in the poisonous embrace of alcoholic beverages; Hyojong could barely stand straight and Hyuna was probably the only one conscious enough to somewhat guide them back to the hotel.

 

The next morning Hwitaek was woken up by the nausea; he hurried to the restroom and emptied his stomach for several minutes until there was nothing left, he then washed his mouth. It felt shitty but at least it wasn't alcohol poisoning. When he returned to the room he discovered Hyojong passed out on the floor and Hyuna sleeping on one of the beds in only her underwear and a shirt they had bought the day before.

 

Hwitaek had a vague memory of dragging Hyojong's body with the help of Hyuna and her indications, other than that it was a mystery how they had made it into the room, but he didn't care as long as there wasn't a corpse to get rid of.

 

He checked the time on the digital clock on the nightstand between the two beds and decided it was early enough to get them all some breakfast. He drove to a nearby fast food store and bought three breakfast sets before returning to the hotel room. The sound of the shower received him into the room, Hyuna was nowhere to be found but Hyojong was still asleep on the floor. 

 

Hwitaek left the food on one of the beds and walked towards the bathroom; he knocked twice.

 

"Hyuna, may I come in?" He asked towards the door.

 

"Yeah, go ahead." Hwitaek entered the bathroom and the steam from the warm shower wrapped around him. 

 

It was only possible to perceive her silhouette through the shower's sliding doors, since they were blurred out, but that was enough to make his throat dry. Hyuna was a gorgeous woman; that thought had been on Hwitaek's mind even when he had met her covered in a stranger's blood. Hyojong, unconscious on the bedroom's floor was also undeniably attractive, and he couldn't help but wonder how the three of them had ended up together. They knew nothing about each other but their names, not even their surnames, yet they felt comfortable like that; too comfortable to get any closer, because no one knew if this was going to last.

 

"Are you going to stay while I get dressed too?" Hyuna had already stopped the shower and had opened the sliding doors, showing herself covered by only a hotel's towel. Her shoulders still had small water drops on them and her hair looked darker due to how wet it was. Hwitaek looked away slowly.

 

"Ah... Sorry." He went back to what he was doing and filled a glass with water before going back to the room.

 

With his fingers he sprayed some of that water on Hyojong's face until he woke up with a groan; he didn't seem especially happy about being awake.

 

"My fucking head..." he groaned, holding his head, probably still a little drunk.

 

"I brought breakfast, let's eat." Hwitaek said, grabbing his own set and eating it in silence on the bed Hyuna had been sleeping on.

 

She was the first to join him after exiting the bathroom completely dressed and with a small towel on her shoulders to keep her clothes from getting wet. Hyojong joined them after managing to get up from the floor without tripping on his own feet.

 

"What're we gonna do today?" He asked, slurring the words. 

 

Hwitaek looked at Hyuna and they both shrugged.

* * *

They repeated the same routine the days after. Sleeping through most of the afternoon and then clubbing at night; they would return to the hotel room sometime in the morning, beyond wasted most of the days and not do anything but eat and sleep until the sun was back down.

 

Time became a fragile concept; it passed by so quickly days were starting to feel like mere hours. Hyojong, who barely had any desire to live, didn't seem to mind much the fact he couldn't even grasp reality anymore. Hyuna seemed genuinely happy, probably because she spent more time being in a drunken state rather than one gone beyond reason. Hwitaek on the other hand had the pressing feeling in his chest that he was wasting away his life; even with those two following him he felt incomplete, he was lacking something but he didn't know what, and in his stupor he couldn't find the strength to care.

 

Time knocked on their door in the form of a notice reminding them they had to leave the room the next day before 5pm; two weeks had passed by in the blink of an eye and they only noticed then.

 

"Guess we'll just go to another hotel." Hwitaek said. They still went drinking that night.

 

They all promised to drink less so they could move without much problem. They of course didn't count with someone slipping drugs on Hwitaek's drink. Although the dose was fortunately small it still rendered him useless of his body control. He fell disoriented, lost; but at the same time it was like floating high above the ground, it was light and comfortable.

 

Hyojong and Hyuna had to carry him back to the hotel room; they sat him down on the couch. Hwitaek couldn't tell what was happening, and he didn't care to know when he felt Hyuna's lips pressing against his, her hand embracing the back of his neck. A hand slipped under his shirt and he gasped at the cold touch; his skin felt like it was on fire and Hyuna was ice, it was so refreshing he found himself wanting more, but he didn't have enough control on his own body to do anything.

 

And then she was gone; Hwitaek complained, opening his eyes, taking in the scene of Hyojong's hands over Hyuna's hips, his mouth on her neck and the smile on her face as she playfully grabbed on his hair. Hwitaek admired them, annoyed and lost in his stupor as he was, their bodies together was one of the most beautiful scenes he had seen, and he wasn't sure he could blame the drugs about that.

 

"Don't do that, he's drugged." Hyojong muttered against her skin, loud enough for Hwitaek to hear. "Play with me instead." 

 

Hyuna kissed Hyojong, pushing him on top of the bed and taking off her shirt; Hyojong did the same in his place on the bed, barely managing to finish before she was on top of him, kissing him once again. Hwitaek's vision blurred and he passed out to the scene, completely against his will.

* * *

The next day they packed their stuff into the car and left, Hwitaek was driving again. He remembered last night very clearly, and they knew. No one said a thing. They didn’t know what to say anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? Did you like it? Don't forget to leave a comment, it inspires me to continue writing!


	3. Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been some time since I updated this and I apologize! I had been very busy with school but now I'm on vacations so I'm expecting to finish this in the next two weeks.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

They rented another hotel room, for the same amount of time. Although Hyuna and Hyojong had already forgotten why they were doing it, they found it easier to not ask and just follow Hwitaek blindly; they had been blind most of their lives anyway, confronting a reality they didn't understand wouldn't do them any good, they were happier in their ignorance.

 

Hwitaek on that other hand knew very well what was going on, he was after all the one planning it all. The money he had accidentally stolen was no small quantity; those girls were probably members of some gang or had stolen the money themselves from a powerful source. While it was fun to spend it, staying in one place for long was too dangerous and Hwitaek wasn't willing to let go of what he was building here, whatever that was. 

 

He continued to be the one to manage the money as well; he didn't trust the other two to be responsible enough when they were so caught up in the little world the three of them were building. Hwitaek was the only one with a vague, yet functional relationship with the real world their imaginary one had been founded in and he realized that after the night he had been drugged; the lack of control over himself and over the situation had made him uneasy and angry, he needed to stay in control. For the sake of them all.

 

Things did change between the three of them however. It was something small, almost imperceptible to a stranger's eye and probably to Hyojong and Hyuna as well, because no matter how Hwitaek looked at it he was the only one that felt different, although he hadn't changed in the slightest. But because everything was changing around him, leaving him behind, he couldn't help but feel he was the one in the wrong.

 

It started a couple of days after they had moved to their second hotel. Being on the run wasn't easy and aside from their clothes and the money, they usually didn't carry much with them, so they needed to buy more supplies every once in a while. Going out like that also helped them to stay more grounded; having actual, normal interactions with other people other than the three of them made the situation easier to control, because Hwitaek couldn't ignore the times Hyuna would stare into the nothing, her mind very far away from her body, or when Hyojong disappeared and came back with the undeniable traces of others on his skin. It was at times like this one, that they seemed like normal people, and Hwitaek couldn't help but think that he had picked up only pieces of what they had once been, and that was okay, he didn't mind.

 

What he did mind however, was feeling excluded, especially when they were supposed to feel normal. He hadn't thought much of it at first, because even if he had bought the ice cream for Hyuna she had offered both of them, and they had all participated on buying the stuff they needed for the hotel room. But there was something on the back of his mind, bothering him; he couldn't tell if it was the way Hyuna's hand brushed against the other's arm, or the way Hyojong looked at her with a look of complicity. They were there, with him, but they didn't feel reachable even when Hwitaek had grabbed Hyuna's arm to pull her closer and keep her from running into someone, or when he had pushed Hyojong's hair away from his face because the other was too sloppy when eating. He was there, but they weren't.

 

And Hwitaek couldn't understand why. He couldn't, because he had picked them both from the streets when they had been in times of need, instead of abandoning them to struggle on their own like anyone else would have. He didn't mind a little acting up here and there, as long as they still acknowledged his presence; Hwitaek himself had never ignored those who had picked him up before, he accepted their place in the hierarchy even if he always repaid by taking everything he could, way more than he had been offered in the first place.

 

He wanted Hyuna's smiles to be directed at him just like they were at Hyojong; and Hyojong's hands to brush against his like they did with Hyuna's. He was angry, but he couldn't understand why, and that made the feeling even worse. He wanted it to go away.

* * *

It wasn't long before the incident repeated itself. Hwitaek had been out, getting food as per the other two's request. Although it was somewhat bothersome, his inner gut couldn't trust Hyojong and Hyuna to do anything on their own, especially outside of the safe space that was their hotel room. Not when Hyojong had suicidal tendencies and when Hyuna was out there accidentally killing people out of fear; plus he doubted they would be able to keep a low profile, and they couldn't risk their safety over a breakfast at McDonald's.

 

When he returned, he opened the room's door and peeked inside to check if they were still there, inside their hotel room. And certainly, they were there, sitting on the bed that had become Hwitaek's for the most part. Hyojong was sitting against the bed's headboard, his messy hair covered most of his face, but the end of his cigarette was still visible through it. Hyuna was straddling him, one hand on his shoulder while the other held a glass bottle only halfway full with dark colored liquid.

 

His hands were resting on her bare thighs while her unoccupied hand went down his shirt, unbuttoning it and pushing it away, giving place to young and scarred skin. Hyuna grabbed the cigarette from Hyojong's mouth and moved it aside to kiss him; the ashes fell on the bedsheets, noticed only by Hwitaek who stood behind the door in silence, unable to look away from the scene. He was frozen in place, the events in front of him playing at a completely different speed to the thoughts racing inside his head; he felt dizzy as he watched them empty the bottle and put out the cigarette on the nightstand.

 

His throat dried up when Hyojong took Hyuna's shirt off, leaving her only in her underwear. There were marks, almost bruises, left all over her collarbone, which Hyojong traced with his lips, perfectly knowing their location because he was the artist behind them. Hyuna smiled brightly, chuckling softly at the contact, she seemed happy. Hwitaek closed his eyes and remembered the day they had met three weeks ago, the desperation in her eyes that screamed for help, the crazed laughter that spilled from his mouth void of hope. The memories clashed with the reality in front of him and he opened his eyes again, finding himself prey of the eyes of the two people that had been restlessly occupying his mind the past few days.

 

Hwitaek closed the door and walked away, not caring anymore if he had been loud, they had seen him anyway. He sat at the hotel's lobby and waited. He was still carrying the food he had bought for the three of them with him, but the hunger had disappeared, replaced by something worse that he couldn't quite name. Thirty minutes had passed by the time he decided to return to their room; he came in without checking this time, not caring anymore. He found Hyojong passed out on the bed he usually shared with Hyuna, with the sound of the shower running being the only clue of her presence.

 

He walked to his bed and stood in front of it. The bedsheets were lazily accommodated and the gray mark from the cigarette's ash stood out against the stark white of the sheets. In his hands, the food he had brought was already cold; nobody ate any of it.

* * *

"I would like to make a reservation for two weeks," Hwitaek told the woman behind the reception desk.

 

"Of course, for how many people?" she asked, looking at the monitor as she typed in the details of the reservation.

 

"Do you have any rooms with two double beds available?" he asked instead, it was just easier for him if he didn't give out specific data about anything concerning the three of them.

 

"Let me check," the receptionist took a few minutes before giving him an answer. "No, unfortunately not. I can offer you a king bedroom however, if that is okay?" she suggested.

 

Hwitaek looked back at the other two. They were sitting closely to each other on one of the sofas at the reception, taking care of the suitcase which carried all of their things. Something sparked in his mind and it suddenly seemed like a good idea, he didn't think they would mind sharing a bed with him anyway; he didn't think they would mind any conditions given to them at all, taking into account the situation they were living in.

 

"Yes, that's perfect," he replied after his careful consideration, and proceeded to finish the reservation process.

* * *

Things didn't change much with the room arrangement, and Hwitaek didn't know exactly how to feel about that. He had been expecting something, anything, but once again his silent questions had been left unanswered. The only did that changed ever so slightly was that Hyojong and Hyuna were now blatantly obvious in their actions, and it was driving him to an edge very slowly. They wouldn't even check if he was asleep, or wait for him to be out of the room before they initiated something; Hwitaek could feel the bed moving next to him as well as hear their sounds when he was trying to sleep, or he would see either getting into the shower when the other was there.

 

He had to admit it was making him angry, Hwitaek just couldn't tell if they were really oblivious or if it was some sort of provocation, but he hated it either way. He could never bring himself to stop them however, he would just remain silent, listening to them, sometimes even observing, and just do nothing about it; not even when his skin burned with obvious desire. His will, his anger, his confusion at the situation were stronger than anything else.

* * *

It was in one particular night that he heard something unexpected. There was never anything other than the sex, and maybe some casual talk, but that night was different, it made him understand.

 

"Have you ever crossed a street, a car visible at the end of it, and felt like stopping? The car is still far away, you have enough time to get to the other side, but it just feels like it'll be easier to stop walking, to let the car come."

 

Hwitaek opened his eyes, next to him Hyojong whispered just loud enough for him to hear, he was probably talking with Hyuna, both of them probably thought he was asleep. He didn't bother to let them know it wasn't like that.

 

"No, never," Hyuna whispered back, she sounded thrilled. The thin sheets were the only thing separating him from their naked bodies; they had just finished having sex.

 

"That's what I felt when you and Hwitaek found me, that's the reason I stopped walking right when I saw you coming," Hyojong said, calmly, his arm briefly brushing against Hwitaek's.

 

"Why did you want to die?" Hyuna asked, the bed sinking under her as she incorporated.

 

"Well... Why do you want to live?"

 

There was no answer, and Hwitaek closed his eyes once again. There was no need for an answer, none of them had a real purpose in life anyway; Hwitaek's desire to reign over them was just that, a desire, it did not give him a reason to stay alive, but he wasn't particularly drawn to death like Hyojong had been, and he knew that. And deep down the other two knew too. And Hwitaek understood why they were so drawn to each other, they were two people with nothing to lose, that had found comfort in thoughtless acts performed together; and he unconsciously understood why he wasn't a part of it, he was too focused trying to hold out, trying to pretend he was above everything else.

 

He wasn't ready though, and so he continued to hold on, blindly, stubbornly, waiting to get somewhere that was far away from his reach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to visit me at my tumblr [@not-majestic-bluenicorn](http://not-majestic-bluenicorn.tumblr.com)!


	4. Noon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me forever, Istg, I didn't mean it to happen but I just had so much homework over vacations I can't even call them vacations to be honest. My days have been slightly less busy so I managed to pull this off, I hope you like it!

Hyojong hated being able to feel the pass of time. Whenever he was conscious enough to do it, time went by way too slowly; every second crawled on his skin leaving marks of impatience and anxiety, making him feel insecure and unsafe even when there wasn't any danger around him. The feeling of time passing by reminded him how small he was, and how useless his life and existence had been in a world that was full with billions of people and had no space to be wasted in someone like him. It made him feel insignificant, unimportant and he didn't like that feeling.

 

However, that feeling always came when he was unable to fall asleep late at night, clenching his chest with such force it made it difficult for him to breathe and kept him even more alert, creating a vicious cycle. That night was unfortunately no exception; he lay down on the hotel bed in their room, dressed only in his underwear. Hyuna was sleeping by his left side, with her back turned towards him; beautiful red hair covered her shoulders and the rest of her body hid away under the white blankets. Hwitaek was on his other side, sleeping just as well as Hyuna was, something incredible considering what had become of their relationship.

 

Hyojong was tired, exhausted even, but sleep had decided to play a trick on him and abandon him. In the quiet hotel room, time passed by too slowly and he grew anxious as different thoughts rushed around in his head; thoughts he'd rather never have. If he thought back to it, a little more than a month had already gone by since he had met Hwitaek and Hyuna after being run over by their car; but to him, that only meant it had been a little more than a month since he had tried to take his own life after being left abandoned in his own apartment's bed by the only person he had thought had any interest in him.

 

The thought expanded in his head, taking way more space than it should. He couldn't help but wonder. What had become of his home after he had left? Had someone else already taken over? Had his lover -Hyojong couldn't help but hold onto the worthless and false idea- reported his intention to commit suicide? Was someone searching for him? Was he missed?

 

Hyojong doubted so, it made far more sense that none of the questions held the answers he was wishing to hear, yet he couldn't help but hold onto those questions, to hold his misguided hope close to his heart. He knew there was nothing waiting for him, there had never been anything after all, but what if this time it was different? It wasn't like Hyojong missed his old lifestyle, he was living far better now that he had Hwitaek and Hyuna, going out every day and having fun; but he wanted something else, he wanted his old life to miss him, to know he was of importance. That he wasn't a waste of space.

 

The feeling of time going by that he hated so much had already swallowed him, throwing him into a spiral of questions that he already had answers to but wanted to desperately change to something better. So he got up from the bed, careful to not wake the other two up; he picked up his clothes from the floor and dressed up, as fast as he could, his heart and mind racing in unison. Hesitation made him stop for a moment and he looked back at Hyojong and Hyuna, they had given him a lot, and he was about to throw all that away for something that, deep down, he knew wasn't there.

 

And so he did anyway, and he left the room.

* * *

Hyojong had no idea in which part of Korea they were anymore. Hwitaek had been the only one to drive them anywhere, never letting them take the wheel -not like the two lost souls knew how to drive anyway-; and both Hyuna and Hyojong had been too busy, too distracted to make out the trail they were following, if there was even one. Whatever it was, only Hwitaek really knew where they were heading to.

 

This did not discourage his racing mind however, and he decided to keep walking until the first buses started to fill up the sleeping city. Hyojong had a very vague idea of what time it was, but he had no cellphone or watch to verify it. The silent and empty streets fueled his messed up thoughts as the cold air hit his feverish skin; the night world around him felt like little more than a dream, and for a moment he wasn't sure he had actually left the hotel room, that maybe he would wake up and find himself cradled between two other bodies.

 

The lights of a 24-hour open convenience store brought him back to reality. There was someone inside, he wasn't alone in a made-up world, this wasn't a dream, but he was still just as lost as when he had left the hotel room. Hyojong entered the store.

 

"Can you tell me what time it is and how to get to the subway station?" Hyojong asked, startling the man sitting behind the counter and making him drop the newspaper he had been reading.

 

"Almost 3 a.m." The store clerk answered after checking the clock. He looked at Hyojong with uncertainty, there was something weird about him, but he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. "I'll write you out the directions, can I help you with something else?"

 

"I want one of those and a lighter." Hyojong replied after some consideration, pointing to one of the cigarette packs that were stacked behind the man.

 

He paid for everything and as soon as he was out he lit up one of the cigarettes and started smoking. The smoke invaded his throat and lungs with a familiar, burning sensation and he felt somewhat grounded; he had been smoking a lot less lately due to his new found addiction to having sex with Hyuna and because Hwitaek had suddenly started to really hate the smell, especially if it impregnated on the bed sheets. Smoking helped him relax, focus better on the simple task that was getting to the subway station by the time it was open and running.

 

If any second thoughts came to him, Hyojong didn't acknowledge them and pushed them aside; waiting for the first train to come and pick up his remnants to take them back home.

* * *

By the time the subway was running and he got onto the first train Hyojong had already finished four cigarettes. It helped keep him stay calm, focused, and closer to reality as possible. His thoughts had slowly reduced to a blur in the back of his mind, strong enough to keep moving him but not to completely cloud his reasoning, which allowed new questions to surface. Had Hwitaek and Hyuna realized he was missing? Would they go looking out for him?

 

He didn't think so, but this time it didn't feel difficult to accept the reality of the answers, Hyojong didn't feel the need to deny that, quite probably, they were both better off without him. Especially Hwitaek, who had seemed so angry and out of himself in the last few days without any explanation whatsoever, It was probably because Hyojong himself was stuck in the past even if he wouldn't bother to recognize it, he couldn't care about a present that didn't even fully exist in his mind.

 

The subway left him back in the town Hyojong had lived in for years, inside the four walls of the cheap apartment that had become his home. He didn't have anything like a hometown, or at least he couldn't remember it, there were no family, no friends to go to; a disgraceful part time job in a gas station plus what money his one-sided lover had bothered to give him after sleeping together every other night made his living. The apartment complex owner had tried to kick him out many times already, so he doubted it remained under his name, but maybe he could find something that would make his worn-out heart settle down.

 

It took almost an hour for him to get to his old home. Since the place was cheap, there was nothing like a guard taking care of the entrance, so he just made his way inside as he pleased and walked up the stairs that led to his floor. Hyojong had started smoking again somewhere along the way, so he had to put the cigarette out as he approached the door of his old apartment. He stood there for a moment, just taking in the view, everything looked the same; he took out the key that had led him in so many times, Hyojong had kept it close for no real reason other than hope.

 

He finally made up the courage to try to unlock it. The key didn't fit in. Hyojong tried again, thinking it was just his mind playing him annoying tricks, but no matter how many times he tried to put the key inside the keyhole, it never fit. His heart sunk to the bottom of his chest. The calm attained through the cigarettes vanished under his erratic heartbeat and his legs led him to the only other place his knew: his lover's apartment. He had to be there, he had to help Hyojong.

 

Hyojong found the apartment without his brain being able to process his actions, everything was happening too quickly. He knocked on the door incessantly, trying to gulp down the panic until the door finally opened, revealing a shirtless man that was a lot taller than him.

 

"Hyojong?" The man said; his voice a combination of surprise and unshaded sleep. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

 

"You have to help me, I can't open the door to my apartment, there's someone else in there, this is not right." Hyojong interrupted him, talking hurriedly, barely able to catch his own breath.

 

"Your apartment? Aren't you supposed to be dead? You've been gone for over a month, and you decide to come here and be an annoyance right now? Fuck off." The door started to close when Hyojong stopped it with one arm.

 

"An annoyance? Why are you treating me like this? Aren't we supposed to be lovers?" His voice had stopped shaking, overcome by something else, something stronger.

 

"You have to be kidding me. Lovers? I paid you for having sex; do you even know my name?"

 

"What?" Hyojong froze in place. His name, of course he knew it, but why couldn't he remember it?

 

"That's what I thought." The door shut in his face.

 

Hyojong didn't have the strength to try calling again; he didn't have a reason anyway. Everything had disappeared. No, that wasn't right, not everything had, only him. His very existence had been erased from the place that made up his past, the apartment complex, the four walls that were his home, they had all forgotten him. Hyojong had known from the start he wasn't meaningful in any way to anyone, yet he had managed to delude himself into thinking he was; and now here he was, broken, confused, alone.

 

The same feelings that had taken over him that one fateful day returned with force, hitting him and leaving him with dreadful feeling of despair. There was nothing for him, there had never been; it was over. He left the apartment complex and walked; his feet took him to the river, the first rays of sunlight shining on the clear surface. Hyojong stood by it for a moment; he finished his last cigarette and then closed his eyes. The water engulfed him with enraged coldness, swallowing him whole; he didn't open his eyes and just let the air leave slowly through his mouth.

 

Hyojong felt like he was suspended in time as he sunk into the depths of the river. Everything was so quiet, so still; his chest hurt due to the lack of air, but aside from that there was nothing going on. And then something pulled on him, moving him to somewhere; fear filled up his veins and he trashed around, a gasp made him swallow water and then he was thrown onto the river side, outside of the water.

 

He coughed uncontrollably, his lungs doing their best to get the water out of them. A hand went to rest on his chest and hit it with force to help him. Long minutes passed by until his vision cleared out again, finally able to breathe and get some oxygen to his brain. Hyojong laid himself on the ground and looked up to the person that had just saved him, or by all means, ruined his death.

 

"Hwitaek?" He asked, out of breath. "What are you doing here? How did you find me?" Hwitaek took the opportunity to sit next to him; he was drenched as well, and looked very tired.

 

"I never took my eyes off of you." Hwitaek replied, looking at Hyojong and then moving his hair out of his face.

 

"Why...?" Hyojong asked, closing his eyes and relaxing to the touch.

 

"That's what I should be asking. Who said you could leave and die like that? I don't remember doing it." Hwitaek replied, his tone sounded severe and it made Hyojong gulp, not sure why.

 

"I'm sorry." There wasn't really a reason to apologize, but the look in Hwitaek's eyes compelled him to, so he just did.

 

"It's okay, let's go back home." Hwitaek stood up and helped the smaller man to do so as well, and then walked off.

 

Hyojong stood back for a moment, trying to order his thoughts. There was a new feeling washing over him, one that he knew too well. It was hope, and he held onto it, even though the same hope had almost killed him last time. He held onto it like the fool he was, because there was nothing else to hold onto but that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to go yell at me on my Tumblr: [@not-majestic-bluenicorn](http://www.not-majestic-bluenicorn.tumblr.com)!


	5. Afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyuna has a nightmare and remembers the day she escaped, and she breaks down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After so long I am finally back with the fifth chapter of Polluted Thoughts, this time giving us a better insight to Hyuna's character. This was an exciting chapter to write and I honestly hope you like it a lot!! Don't hesitate to leave some comments to tell me what you think about this project!

The afternoons in the hair saloon were always boring, but Hyuna couldn't deny that she preferred to be alone with the music than having clients, even if they were basically what brought money into her wallet, just enough to make a life. She didn't like her job at all; the conditions weren't good and she was always being mistreated by the clients since the area they were in wasn't really well off, but she had agreed when her boss gave her permission to choose the music: he needed her beautiful appearance to bring in clients and she needed the money to survive.

Being in charge of the background's music was something she thoroughly enjoyed however; Hyuna loved music after all, and just that little action made her feel like she had control over something in her life. It also made her days more bearable and gave her a certain liberty to express herself, and when she was alone in the store, it became like her own little corner of heaven, only visible in her eyes.

That day was like any other; clients came and went little by little, filling up her afternoon despite her desire to be alone with the music. Hyuna liked some of them, those that were nice and that came by casually only to leave her with a sense of profound emptiness; those rare times she often found herself enjoying the company and the small talk, and then missing the stranger like they had been a big part of her life.

But there were the other clients, those that came by more frequently and were even considered regulars; they liked her, but it was an empty type of like that consisted of admiring her beauty with well-practiced words that left her feeling gross and insecure of herself. None had ever hurt her physically even when they had tried to touch her, but the mental scars of their words and the looks they threw at her were too many to be counted anymore.

Just like any other afternoon, she longed for the stories told in the songs that poured from the radio; her longing was stronger for the love stories, as she remembered her mom teaching her about marrying someone that would love her and get her out of her miserable life so she could be free, because she was too young, too stupid and too lost to do it for herself. And she had listened, because she had always been a good girl, and so she waited, hoping that one of those nice clients would pick up her scarred self.

As Hyuna wandered through her thoughts, a young man walked into the place and sat down, greeting her and asking for a shaving. He was tall with black hair and somewhat foreigner facial features; as she prepared the cream and the razor the man made a small talk, he seemed nice and Hyuna's heart jumped in her chest, hoping that maybe this time it would be the one in which she left her old life.

She talked with the man as she started applying the shaving cream on his face, careful to not get any on his mouth or nose. It was then that Hyuna felt a hand grabbing the back of her leg and caressing it up to her thighs. She dropped everything and moved away, betrayal sinking in her heart as the man rose and pushed her to the wall, trapping her.

Hyuna fought with all her might until the man fell, hitting his head with the corner of the work table. Blood started pouring out like a cascade, filling up the place until everything was just blood, swallowing Hyuna up as she tried to run away from the unending ocean of red. But she couldn't, it was heavy and it pulled her down, attempting to fill up her lungs and drown her. From among the red liquid, the body of the man rose and grabbed her shoulders tightly, shaking her around while screaming her name as blood continued to pour from the injury on his head.

And then the man was suddenly Hwitaek and she was sitting on the bed of a hotel room. The blood and the black haired man were gone, and there were only Hyuna, Hwitaek and Hyojong in a bed that was barely big enough for them. Her throat felt warm and dry from the screaming, her arms had gone numb were Hwitaek had been holding her too tightly, and she felt dizzy and confused and so far away from the real world that surrounded her.

"Hyuna, are you okay? Please answer me." Their voices started to become clear and Hyuna was able to focus on them.

She felt confused, lost, and so, so scared. Tears found their way to her eyes and she cried, while the two other boys held her and waited until she was done crying and was conscious enough to understand and talk, to explain what had torn her apart so badly.

When Hyuna managed to stop crying, she sat down carefully against the headboard and brought her legs close to her chest, resting her chin on her knees softly. Next to her, Hyojong sat with a hand passing through her hair, caressing with a care she hadn't known before in her life; Hwitaek had left the bed and was now returning with a glass of water and toilet paper to help clean her face. The caring gestures made her heart swell painfully in confusion, even if this had been going on for weeks now she was just now realizing the turn her life had taken when she had asked Hwitaek to take her, she was now waking up to the reality they had made up out of their desires and hopes. And she was scared.

"What happened?" Hwitaek asked; as per usual, he was the one to do the talking all the time, he just had a way with words.

"I had a nightmare." Hyuna replied, raising her head and grabbing the glass of water with one hand. The refreshing liquid helped her throat relax and calmed her down a bit, it was somewhat grounding.

"That much is clear." Hwitaek sat on the bed, right in front of her. "But what happened in it? Maybe we can help."

They all remained in silence for a bit. Hyojong's hand was still caressing her red locks absentmindedly, a silent encouragement to talk. Hyuna took deep breaths and finished the glass of water before she managed to put her thoughts into sentences.

"I never told you about what happened the day we met." She looked at them, searching for a sign of discomfort, trying to decide if it was the right moment to bring it up. Neither of them stopped her. "I used to work in a barber shop. The clients were usually very nasty and I didn't like the place, but I had to make a living and being able to choose the music on the radio was nice."

Hyuna played with the glass in her hands, unable to look at them anymore. Now that she had earned a life among people that actually cared for her, she felt embarrassed of her past and felt like hiding it. Hyuna was afraid they would think she was an undignified person for living like that, that they would leave her just like her mother had said men would if she didn't learn to be a better woman.

"That day a man I had never seen before came into the barber shop and he..." Hyuna's breathing hitched and she dropped the empty glass on the bed. The memories of the real incident mixed in with the nightmare and she bit down on her lip, trying not to cry again; she knew she was safe there but she was scared. "He tried to do something against my will and I... I accidentally killed him."

Through the corner of her eyes, Hyuna managed to see the expression of surprise in Hyojong's face, his hand falling to a stop; however Hwitaek grabbed her face gently, diverting her attention and pulling her close to him.

"It's okay, you did what you had to survive, and you were very strong." Hwitaek said, hugging her and caressing her back with soft pats.

"I want to go back, I need to." Hyuna whispered into his shoulder.

"Okay then, let's go." He answered after a moment of silence.

She failed to notice the tension in his voice.

* * *

The car ride was long and filled with tense silence. Hwitaek was the one in charge of the wheel while Hyuna sat next to him, fidgeting with her hands the whole time; Hwitaek had decided to leave Hyojong at the hotel, knowing it would be easier to take care of only one of them. Surprisingly, neither complained about said decision.

The drive was long, as they were far away from the place they had first met at, but they eventually made it in the middle of the night, through the traffic and back to the city that had seen their complicated relationship be born. Hyuna found herself full with mixed feelings as she started to recognize what was her hometown; it was quite bittersweet, the feeling of nostalgia mixed with that of suffocation.

She had spent her whole life in that small town, dreaming of a better life, of an actual life, but now that she was out from that hell she found herself wanting to go back and see what had been of the place that saw her grow up. Her mind went back to the day Hyojong ran away, leaving them at the hotel, and she could suddenly understand what had gone through the mind of his partner when he did what he did.

Hyuna wondered if Hwitaek was the same as the two them, if he also had been running away from something else the night they met, if he also had a place he had left but wanted to return to just to make sure the decisions made hadn't been a mistake. But no matter how much she wondered, it was impossible to get the answers from looking at his stern face as he drove the last few streets to her old workplace.

Fear kicked in once again as Hwitaek turned the engine off and exited the car, a few seconds later he was at Hyuna's door, opening it for her and offering her a hand she didn't hesitate to take. Hyuna's hand had become incredibly cold and there was a slight shake to her frame; Hwitaek squeezed her hand tightly and helped her out of the car. Before they could head in to explore, he grabbed her chin softly and looked in her eyes; his actions put Hyuna off for a moment, since Hwitaek had never acted so close to her.

"Hey, calm down, it's going to be alright; there's no one here in the middle of the night." Hyuna nodded slowly, for the first time noticing something in Hwitaek that had passed unnoticed since way back; it was something in the way he looked at her, but it was something so unknown she just couldn't describe it. "Let's go."

They walked hand in hand towards the one floor building that seemed eerie in the dark. With an expertise that can only be gained through the years, Hwitaek broke in after making sure there wasn't any sort of alarm system protecting the entrance, it was a job done easily and in silence, and in only a couple of minutes Hwitaek was holding the door open for Hyuna.

It took some time before she gained the courage to walk in, but eventually they both entered the workplace and looked around in silence. The place hadn't changed much compared to Hyuna's memories; everything was in its correspondent place, the walls had the same decorations and the radio she loved so much was still placed on a little table at the back of the store.

But even so, everything felt and looked so different for her, not because her workplace had actually changed, but because she had; looking at everything as it was, she found herself despising it more than she ever had while working there. And it felt liberating, because that hatred was accompanied with joy and understanding that she didn't have to return to such a place.

Hyuna looked back at Hwitaek and found him examining the area in which the man had died; a closer look revealed the signs on a forensic investigation that had gone on for more than a month in which she had erased her existence from that town. The sole thought sent a shiver down her spine, a mix of fear for being caught and of peace knowing that the man wasn't going to come back to get her.

"That's where he died." She said, regaining Hwitaek's attention. "He was trying to force himself on me so I pushed him, and he hit his head with the work table; the blood was everywhere, it must have been hard to clean." Hyuna sighed, tears coming to her eyes again because of how overwhelming everything was.

Hwitaek approached her and gently held her face, wiping the threatening tears away and deciding it was enough for a visit.

"Let's go, there's no chains keeping you here anymore." Hyuna nodded, this time without hesitation, and followed him outside of the workplace, not without giving a last longing look to the radio, her eternal companion. "Don't worry about it, I'll get you something new and better, something that won't haunt you anymore."

Hyuna believed him, because there was no way she could doubt Hwitaek, it was a thought that just didn't fit in her mind. Both of them left the building, locking it back up and heading down to the car; they both knew it would be a long ride before they could get back to Hyojong at the hotel, but this time Hyuna didn't feel any pressure or tension, and so she got into the car like that time they had met, knowing it would take her to a better place.

* * *

The morning caught up to them as they drove back to the hotel; the sun rays caressing her eyelids caused Hyuna to wake up from the deep sleep that had taken over her at some point in the middle of the night ride. She looked over to Hwitaek who was still driving, he looked calm and rested, and she wondered if maybe they had stopped somewhere so he could sleep.

"You're awake?" Hwitaek said, feeling her stare on him. "Did you sleep well? You didn't seem to have any nightmares."

"I slept well... Thank you." Hyuna replied, sitting correctly on the copilot seat.

"It's nothing, it seemed important for you." He shrugged. "Plus, I'm the only one here who knows how to drive, and unless you planned to get there by subway just like Hyojong did last time then I think I was the best option."

"Yeah..." Hyuna looked out the window, resting her head on its frame.

Some time passed before any of them spoke again; Hyuna used that time to think about everything that had happened in the last month or so. She felt weird, but there was no doubt she was far off better with Hyojong and Hwitaek now than she had ever been trapped inside the barber shop, held back by the chains of fear.

"This feels like the first time we met." Hyuna said, finally looking back at Hwitaek; his eyes were fixed on the road but he spared a few seconds to glance at her. "You changed my life when you found me that night."

"And you were exactly what I was looking for." Hwitaek replied back, making Hyuna blush ever so slightly.

"Thank you, for saving me that time, I never got to say it." She continued, trying to pretend she hadn't been affected by his comment.

"Oh that." They stopped at a red light, and Hwitaek used that time to look at her. "I didn't do anything, you saved yourself; don't underestimate yourself, Hyuna." She didn't find a way to reply, but a smile made its way to her lips and she found it hard to suppress it.

“Oh, by the way… How did you know where my workplace was?” She asked, looking at him with curiosity.

“Well, I just know a lot about you.” Hwitaek said, leaving so many things unsaid, but she didn’t ask and just trusted him as it was.

After a few minutes Hyuna looked at the car's stereo and, without asking, turned it on; she glanced at Hwitaek with mild worry, but a discreet smile told her everything was alright. She leaned back and closed her eyes, finally able to enjoy the music in the way she had always wanted: freely, without fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can go and scream at me on Tumblr [@not-majestic-bluenicorn](http://www.not-majestic-bluenicorn.tumblr.com)!

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to go yell at me at my Tumblr @not-majestic-bluenicorn!


End file.
